the GZ diaries c2
2007.07.21
Saturday
(Un)Breaking The Habits
On the onset of my teenage years, I started my relationship with two very addictive companions. It's called cigarettes and alcohol. Funny, I still remember my Creative Writing professor in college stating that the two most dangerous drugs aren't the illegal kind but rather, these two I just mentioned. I also can’t blame genetics. My family’s predisposed to these anyway...except for my parents.
I wouldn't and couldn't forget their ultimatum when they found my uncle's (mom's lil' bro) box of Marlboro lights in my T.H.E. project-turned-trash can (a pretty and darkly varnished woven basket) 11 years ago. I denied smoking them although I really did. Still, they threatened- which was the most ridiculous thing I heard in my life: “If we catch you smoking, we're putting you in rehab!”
Those were my parents' words. Do you think I'd be scared and all that? NO. I laughed my 13-year old ass off. I just discovered the relaxing powers of cigarettes, dare they cu t it off from me? No way. I'm sneaky, so the habit continued. It's part of my Catholic schoolgirl rebellion to make my life fun.
However, my affinity with alcohol started pretty legal. When I was 8, my cousin who's 2 years older had me sip some champagne during my uncle's birthday. For an 8-year old me, it tasted weird. Come the time I was 10, another incident got my paths crossed with alcohol. This time, it was by accident. While my friend Eileen and I were playing in some vacant lot in our subdivision, we found a bottle with clear liquid buried somewhere in that lot. Thanking our luck for such a find, we assumed it was water. We opened the bottle and drank it...man, that was a nasty fiery concoction for a hot summer day! The so-called 'accident' was the traditional rice wine from the north called 'basi'. After calmly explaining what it was, Eileen's brother laughed so hard. In fact, he actually guffawed and almost fell off his seat for our stupidity.
Unfortunately, there was no trauma over that. 3 years after, my folks included me in their toasts of wine and champagne during holidays and other family celebrations-slash-gatherings. My uncle (same uncle I stole the Marlboro from) even taught me the boys' drinks and the girls' drinks one Christmas Eve. Soon after, both combination of nicotine and alcohol turned my teenage years to the good girl-turned-bad behind closed doors.
The closed doors didn't stay closed very long. Even if I'm still discreet with the cigs at home, I drink like a kanto boy. Thank God for my strong alcohol tolerance. Thing is, after college I wanted a lil' clean break since turning Vegan. That means cutting down on these habits. It's tantamount to cutting off my best lovers. But I got to start somewhere.
So I tried. It's a constant battle. The pattern for my smoking “rehab” of sorts expires in 3 weeks. After 3 weeks going cold turkey, my left hand would latch on any pen or pencil and start reflex motion of holding a cigarette stick. The longest I held out so far was my first month and a half in China. Afterwards...is another story.
Now, I'm free as a bird in Guangzhou so I'm trying to forget to quit. My conscience is warring. My loneliness at night is my ammunition. I ignite.
I'm (un)breaking the habit(s). Tonight.
Line seems familiar, ain't it?
By the by, my other friends in Shenzhen are Tsing Tao and then Absolut and 7-Up. Before I moved, Jack Daniels and Cola was also introduced to me (Thanks, Janna!). Now, in Guangzhou, my new pal is Absolut and Red Bull.
I'm still traumatized over tequila after one drunken episode in Shekou.
Saturday
(Un)Breaking The Habits
On the onset of my teenage years, I started my relationship with two very addictive companions. It's called cigarettes and alcohol. Funny, I still remember my Creative Writing professor in college stating that the two most dangerous drugs aren't the illegal kind but rather, these two I just mentioned. I also can’t blame genetics. My family’s predisposed to these anyway...except for my parents.
I wouldn't and couldn't forget their ultimatum when they found my uncle's (mom's lil' bro) box of Marlboro lights in my T.H.E. project-turned-trash can (a pretty and darkly varnished woven basket) 11 years ago. I denied smoking them although I really did. Still, they threatened- which was the most ridiculous thing I heard in my life: “If we catch you smoking, we're putting you in rehab!”
Those were my parents' words. Do you think I'd be scared and all that? NO. I laughed my 13-year old ass off. I just discovered the relaxing powers of cigarettes, dare they cu t it off from me? No way. I'm sneaky, so the habit continued. It's part of my Catholic schoolgirl rebellion to make my life fun.
However, my affinity with alcohol started pretty legal. When I was 8, my cousin who's 2 years older had me sip some champagne during my uncle's birthday. For an 8-year old me, it tasted weird. Come the time I was 10, another incident got my paths crossed with alcohol. This time, it was by accident. While my friend Eileen and I were playing in some vacant lot in our subdivision, we found a bottle with clear liquid buried somewhere in that lot. Thanking our luck for such a find, we assumed it was water. We opened the bottle and drank it...man, that was a nasty fiery concoction for a hot summer day! The so-called 'accident' was the traditional rice wine from the north called 'basi'. After calmly explaining what it was, Eileen's brother laughed so hard. In fact, he actually guffawed and almost fell off his seat for our stupidity.
Unfortunately, there was no trauma over that. 3 years after, my folks included me in their toasts of wine and champagne during holidays and other family celebrations-slash-gatherings. My uncle (same uncle I stole the Marlboro from) even taught me the boys' drinks and the girls' drinks one Christmas Eve. Soon after, both combination of nicotine and alcohol turned my teenage years to the good girl-turned-bad behind closed doors.
The closed doors didn't stay closed very long. Even if I'm still discreet with the cigs at home, I drink like a kanto boy. Thank God for my strong alcohol tolerance. Thing is, after college I wanted a lil' clean break since turning Vegan. That means cutting down on these habits. It's tantamount to cutting off my best lovers. But I got to start somewhere.
So I tried. It's a constant battle. The pattern for my smoking “rehab” of sorts expires in 3 weeks. After 3 weeks going cold turkey, my left hand would latch on any pen or pencil and start reflex motion of holding a cigarette stick. The longest I held out so far was my first month and a half in China. Afterwards...is another story.
Now, I'm free as a bird in Guangzhou so I'm trying to forget to quit. My conscience is warring. My loneliness at night is my ammunition. I ignite.
I'm (un)breaking the habit(s). Tonight.
Line seems familiar, ain't it?
By the by, my other friends in Shenzhen are Tsing Tao and then Absolut and 7-Up. Before I moved, Jack Daniels and Cola was also introduced to me (Thanks, Janna!). Now, in Guangzhou, my new pal is Absolut and Red Bull.
I'm still traumatized over tequila after one drunken episode in Shekou.